Monday, 20 January 2014

Lady Gaga's 2013 Style By The Numbers

It's hard to believe that in early 2013 Lady Gaga was forced to cancel her tour and undergo hip surgery. It's even harder to believe that she flew beneath the radar while she recuperated and it wasn't until late July that she emerged and, subsequently, crammed a whole lotta fashion into the end of this year. The past five months have been full of uncomfortable footwear, unique accessories, and outfits only Lady Gaga would consider
appropriate for 10-hour flights. Though she largely mixes up her looks (like, hourly, amirite?), there are actually some common elements her ensembles, and we've found them and rounded them up for your viewing pleasure.
Now, without further ado, what Lady Gaga wore in 2013:
5 APPLICATIONS OF WHITE FACE AND BODY POWDER
Lady Gaga is this pale intentionally.
Photos: Getty Images
If you hate when your sunscreen isn't rubbed in entirely, this pale look probably isn't doing much for you. Gaga wore white powder all over her face, arms, and legs in varying levels of opacity throughout the fall. If any gymnasts need a better grip but are out of chalk, just find some of Mother Monster's clothing and rub your hands along it. Problem solved!
3 ADAPTATIONS OF ART
Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga is artsy.
Photos: Getty Images
If you went off the grid in 2013, you may have missed that Gaga's new album was called ARTPOP. To remind those of us still on the grid about ARTPOP, Gaga wore clothing with famous works of art printed on them. More specifically: Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa, Sandro Botticelli's The Birth of Venus, and Pablo Picasso's Girl Before a Mirror.
5 INSTANCES OF HER ALBUM ART IRL
Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga wearing her own album art.
Photos: Getty Images/Splash News
It wasn't just da Vinci, Picasso, and Botticelli's work Gaga turned into clothing. She also wore looks from her own single covers, including the colorful makeup from "Applause" and the incredibly frightening grill from "Dope." If she retired that "Dope" look in 2014, I wouldn't mind. In fact, I'd sleep better.
3 HIGH-TECH DRESSES
Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga got techie in 2013
Photos: Getty Images/Lady Gaga's Twitter
While Gaga was very excited about debuting her flying dress at her artRave, it wasn't the only high-tech dress she wore in 2013. She also, NBD, wore a dress that could blow its own bubbles and a wedding dress that had an iPad in the bodice. She wore all this in 2013? More like 2113, righttt? IS THIS THE FUTURE? I THINK IT IS.
3 SIGHT-BLOCKING MASKS
Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga doesn't care if she can't see where she's going.
Photos: Getty Images/Splash News
Many celebrities complain about the flash of cameras wherever they go, which blind them, make them trip, are annoying, etc. Lady Gaga has a potential solution: Wear masks that entirely block your ability to see. If you can't see at all, you can't see flashes and, thus, will not be blinded. #logic
10 PANTSLESS OUTFITS
Lady Gaga
No pants, no problem.
Photos: Getty Images/Splash News
In 2013 we grew accustomed to famous men and women stepping out without shirts on, but Gaga stayed strong representing #TeamNoPants. Gaga is still holding a candle for the trouser H8erz of the world by wearing flannels without pants SO frequently that we're almost used to it. Like, we probably won't be "forgetting" our jeans under our flannels when we go outside any time soon because it's very cold, but who knows what the warm months of 2014 will bring.
Lady Gaga
Still no pants, still no problem.
Photos: Getty Images/Splash News
But Gaga didn't just trade her pants for oversized flannels. She bared the entirety of her legs in leotards, bedazzled thongs, and with a garter belt under a fur coat. The latter I understand. If you wear anything more than underwear under a fur coat you're going to be hot, duh. Gaga is just trying to stay cool. Ya feel?
11 BRAS WORN AS SHIRTS
Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga embracing 2013's shirtless trend.
Photos: Getty Images/Splash News
While Gaga skipped pants, she never left home completely topless. She (publicly) showed off her extensive lingerie collection, which includes lacy bras, leather bras, seashell bras, and bandeaus.
Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga embracing 2013's shirtless trend.
Photos: Getty Images/Splash News
Gaga demonstrated how easily a shirt can be replaced by a bra under blazers, overalls, and fur coats, and paired with chaps or a skirt.
Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga embracing 2013's shirtless trend.
Photos: Getty Images/Splash News
Gaga wore her bras on stage, on the street, and on red carpets, which shows just how versatile the look is. Watch out, shirts, soon we may all stop wearing you! JK, most of us would get fired from our jobs.
AT LEAST 25 DIFFERENT WIGS
Lady Gaga
Does anyone in the world own more wigs than Lady Gaga?
Photos: Getty Images/Splash News/ABC
Of course, a retrospective wouldn't be complete without mentioning just how many wigs Lady Gaga owns/wears/travels with. She has worn at least 25 different wigs in the past six months. That number doesn't include multiple wears or wigs that weren't captured in photos. Where does she keep all these wigs? How many does she bring with her on vacation? We have a lot of wig questions, so if anyone knows the answers (looking at you, Gaga), please answer them for us!
Even though it doesn't really feel like it, 2013 was sartorially shortened for Mother Monster, which means 2014 is going to be IN. SANE. While we are especially eager to see what she wears on her ARTPOP tour, we are also pretty ~into~ what she wears on the reg, so we can't wait to see what Gaga has in store for us.

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